Heaven
by Frayed Misfit
Summary: Lily  Snape angsty fluff but good angsty fluff. Complete oneshot songfic. DH Spoilers.


**Disclaimer: **My hero J.K Rowling owns the characters and my soul. DJ Sammy owns the lyrics noted in italics.

**Author's note: **This may be viewed as a companion piece to my fic 'My Own Way Home' or merely a songfic in its own right, standing alone. However if you enjoy this and it tickles your fancy, please look at 'My Own Way Home'. Reviews are like chocolate to me, I adore them.

**Heaven.**

_Thinking about our younger years,_

_There was only you and me,_

_We were young and wild and free._

"You're it!" Lily chided, touching me lightly on the shoulder before springing away. Her red hair playing on her back, her green eyes dancing.

I stood there, nonplussed, I was a what? What was 'it'? My confusion must have been plastered all over my face as Lily took one look at me and broke into hysterical laughter.

"It's a muggle game, silly Sev!" She continued to prance out of my reach. "It's called Catch and Kiss! The person who's 'it' has to catch the other person and kiss them. Eeeewww!"

And with that exclamation she was off, flitting between the oaks. I started after her, not being the sporty type my thin legs took a while to warm up and they weren't particularly obliging when forced to stop and perform a sudden swivel in the opposite direction. Lily's rambunctious laugh echoed through the small park near Spinner's End. The summers spent at home, so close to Lily, were the dearest things to me, memories contained in the long sunlit days. Our first year at Hogwarts had drawn to a close and it was liberating to spend time with Lily outside of the confines and conventions that Hogwarts unconsciously placed upon our friendship. We were placed in opposing houses, that boasted opposing attributes and ideas, and our friendship was always questioned and scrutinised. It always felt like we weren't _suppose_ to be friends at school, like we were breaking the rules, crossing boundaries.

Stepping in an awkward sideways and backwards motion I landed in Lily's verging path, we tumbled ferociously to the grass in a tangle of adolescent limbs. My body squashed on top of hers, I could feel her breathing through my own lungs, her chest inhaling and exhaling.

"I caught you," I laughed, smiling into her eyes.

"Now you have to kiss me silly!" Her words were bold and confident, her eyes fluttered closed in expectation.

My tingling body was all the encouragement I needed to fulfill her request. I let my lips fall softly onto her own, her mouth opened slightly under my touch and our tongues reached for one another. _I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven._

_Now nothing can take you away from me,_

_We've been down that road before,_

_That's over now._

_You keep me coming back for more. _

"Please Sev …" Her eyes searched mine, bidding me to remain quiet, ensuring me that there was simply no point in talking about this. I did not know why she had come to me again, what I had done did not deserve forgiveness let alone this love. The months that Lily had been estranged from me felt like an eternity, all I saw was her retreating back down the corridor, her eyes downcasted in class, her words formed for other people. My hands played idly with her own, gently touching the insides of her fingers, tracing words of love on her palms. We sat on the top of the Owlery, my back against the rough stone of the castle turret, her back curved into my stomach, her head against my heart. We watched the stars pop from a blissful oblivion, tiny golden lights in a sea of darkness. The night sky seemed to me a metaphor for my life with Lily, where she was a single isolated light, floating aimlessly amid a dark and formidable emptiness. Leaning down I murmured sweet nothings into the rich red of her hair before allowing my head to rest atop of hers, allowing my actions to speak larger than words.

_Now nothing can change what you mean to me._

_There's a lot that I could say,_

_But just hold me now_

_Cause our love will light the way. _

It sounded like the door was being broken down; I jumped from my silent stupor on the couch, wand at the ready and advanced towards it. It was then I recongised the sound for a series of loud and urgent knocks and a desperate kind of weeping. Wrenching the door open, there she stood facing me. A dark hood covered most of her features; her hand rose in mid knock, a soft wail escaped her lips. Moving forwards to engulf her within myself I removed her from the doorstep wondering what could cause her so much grief. It wasn't until the door was firmly closed, my arms still tightly clasped around her shoulders that I realised she was punching me, drumming soft fists into every inch of my stomach, her sobs came harder now and her whole body was shaking.

"I hate you, hate you, hate you, hate you."

Pulling her gently from my grip I held her firmly at arms length.

"What has happened Lily, tell me what has happened?" I tried to keep my voice steady, to soothe my own rising emotions as well as her turbulent ones.

Through gasps of tears Lily formed the words "my parents" unable to stand any longer she dropped to the carpet, her body as fragile as a china doll.

Letting myself drop beside her I recoiled in horror, I had not even known, had not even considered the possibility, had not realised that my continued association with her may have caused this, led to this pain, this misery. Lips forming words that were not spoken, could not be spoken for the way in which my body shook, I glanced helplessly and uncertain upon her dilapidated figure.

Rising swollen eyes to my face she whispered, her voice tentative and isolated amongst her weeping.

"Hold me."

_Now our dreams are coming true,_

_For the good times and the bad,_

_I'll be standing there for you. _

I had given her son the most important piece of the puzzle, I had spent years ensuring his survival and now I sent him to his death. Gazing into those green eyes I felt her there, and was comforted. It was not death's arms that stole me away but Lily's soft embrace that cradled me into the next world.

_It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven. _


End file.
